Vogue | My Conflict With Being Called Cute

There are worse things than being called cute or cutie. Yet I can’t think of many, especially as a 40-something woman on the receiving end of this designation. In fact, I get showered with cute more frequently nowadays than I did when I was actually age appropriate for the compliment. While I know that others deploy it with only the kindest intentions—and I typically offer back a smile—the term has always struck me as ill fitting and slightly infantilizing.

Part of my distaste for the compliment is that it seems so out of alignment with how I see myself and how I strive to present that person to the world. I have a thin physique and small, somewhat-elfin facial features, but when I’m getting dressed in the morning, cute is never the objective. Usually it’s some hybrid of fashionable (a patterned Dries Van Noten blazer or my favorite Studio Nicholson trousers, tailored with a touch of slouch) and functional (Adidas sambas) that’s more in line with the term “creative pragmatist” as coined by Tibi’s Amy Smilovic. Yet cute attaches itself like a prickly little rash; I can’t shake it.

To read the full essay, visit Vogue.com.